Why ILL should be headed by a Librarian

The public library workplace is all too often a minefield of office politics.  So much depends on one’s professional rank insofar as who gets listened to and whom can be safely ignored or snubbed.

Any department or unit that is NOT headed by a librarian is at a distinct disadvantage vis a vis other departments and units which are.

In a large system, cooperation between the branches is key, especially for system-wide functions like Interlibrary loan.

Our main library building is undergoing extensive renovations and as such had to make the painful decision to close our doors to the public.  We only have a skeleton crew of the circulation staff on site besides Support Services, which in our organizational structure includes ILL.  The OPAC had to be adjusted to disallow holds to be routed to our main branch, but this impacted ILL as well, as I was no longer able to place holds myself.  We engineered a low-tech work around, wherein I would simply email my ILL Liaisons at each branch with my daily pull requests from their stacks and they would route the items to me via the interoffice mail system (which is still operational) instead of through the traditional circulation system.

This worked well at first, but there has been a regression to the mean insofar as, once again, some branches are more responsive and reliable than others.  Also, apparently, my email sometimes gets lost in the shuffle, is easy to ignore, etc.  I’ve also been scolded for improper use of the “Mark as urgent” function in email.  Evidently because of my Asperger’s, I’m just not competent or to be trusted with this function.  ;-)  Just because I subjectively think something is urgent is not sufficient cause for me to mark it as such.  I’ve tried to argue my case but been shouted down one too many times, even by one of my local advocates.  It’s just a fight not worth having.  You’ve got to pick your battles and found this ground to be untenable.

Many of my ILL Branch liaisons are actual librarians, and in the smaller branches, the actual branch manager.  They easily outrank me, a mere Clerk.  All of my efforts to get them to respond to my ILL requests have to be done by begging, obsequious pleading, etc.  It’s not as if I can throw my weight around or apply the pressure of collegiality, as an equal.  I feel as though ILL as a whole unit gets less respect because the highest ranking person in our unit is a Paraprofessional.  I feel like if we had an actual librarian in charge, our requests might be attended to more promptly by all branches.  If we were headed by a librarian, we would be better positioned to complain directly to the administration about recalcitrant branches who were lax in their responsiveness to ILL requests, which reflects negatively on the system as a whole.  As it stands, we just have to keep our heads down and fill our existing requests to the best of our ability during this time of utter dependency on the branches.  Alas, the stacks in the main building are temporarily closed and thus I’m not able to pull books held in my own building until we-reopen at the end of the month.

Although I think things will improve once our stacks revert from closed to open and we resume full circulation operations, I still think the lack of a librarian in charge of ILL has an impact on the effectiveness of ILL as a whole within the system.  Because we’re not headed up by a peer of equal standing, we can be snubbed and ignored more easily by those units which are so headed.  It’s not as if this is mean-spirited or deliberate.  It’s just benign neglect and inattention, mostly, though in the end our ability to be a full ILL partner with other libraries still suffers regardless.

Pleasant surprise(s)

One lemon-to-lemonade moment I've experienced lately;  It turns out my ILL liaisons at the various branches are quite a bit more responsive and efficient than regular circulation staff.

I've had to fall back to relying on them, actually, because my main building is currently closed to the public and we have only a skeleton crew on staff in circulation.  Hold requests have been completely shut off for the main building in the catalog, which disrupted my daily operations immediately.  Evidently this hadn't been taken into account despite my having raised the issue in a staff meeting and being reassured that it would all be taken care of.  I was pretty enraged about this for the better part of a day but bit my tongue and maintained a cool, factual facade to my supervisor on what I needed and why the current arrangement needed a work-around.  I'm grateful to the Assistant Director of the system for intervening directly and directing me to rely instead on old-fashioned email directly to the ILL liaisons still staffing the various branches in the system.

Turns out these folks are more on-the-ball than their regular circulation counterparts when it comes to responding to my requests via email instead of via the internal hold mechanism of the OPAC.  Some branches are more reliable than others, some circ staff more dependable than others.  It's just the reality out there.  But my ILL Liaisons are amazing.  NOT ONE request has arrived too late at the main building to fill an existing ILL request since we had to jury-rig the current set-up in lieu of using the OPAC's internal hold system.  So proud of my Liaisons out there!  The main building stacks are also currently closed, which is frustrating since it means I can't just go upstairs and grab something off the shelves to fill a request.  I'm 100% relying on my pull requests via email now.  The current adult collection is now a work-zone, with the book shelves covered by protective tarp while the ceiling is being completely replaced, the wiring redone, etc.  We basically have to steer clear of the rest of the building outside of the basement for the next couple of months.

I'm also grateful for the books I'm sometimes able to add in the catalog--donations of duplicates already cataloged and in-system that need additional copies at other branch libraries.  They're not put out on the shelf every day, but I'm grateful every time new books of this type appear for me to work on.  It's not actual cataloging, but it's often close enough to keep me happy.  I'm certainly more efficient at it than our other clerks without professional experience as a working librarian.

Grateful for Navigator, because WorldShare S*CKS

I'm personally grateful the State of Texas is having all of us Public Libraries currently on OCLC First Search transition to the Navigator system for ILL.  Near as I can tell, Navigator will actually supersede OCLC WorldShare, which is scheduled to roll-out and replace OCLC First Search by December 31st of 2013.  I have tried to use OCLC WorldShare but OMG, I hate this interface so much.  It's SO DAMN SLOW and sluggish.  It takes forever to load in between actions.  I hate not being able to mass-printout new requests without having to go through them individually one at a time.  In so many ways WorldShare is a step BACKWARDS in terms of staff functionality.  I'm sure it does some important new & good things as well, but as an experienced First Search user, what stands out to me are what WorldShare handles more poorly than First Search.  I just can't get past these things, and not for lack of trying either.

We've not had a chance to beta-test a live version of Navigator, but from the simulations we've done in training, the interface seems much more user friendly and logical than WorldShare at least.  So day to day I've given up trying to use/learn WorldShare, since Navigator seems to make WorldShare moot after its own implementation by the State of Texas.  I feel sorry for non-Texas libraries who will be under WorldShare's yoke after 31 December of 2013, though.

For now, OCLC First Search still works swimmingly well so that's what I'm sticking with for daily ILL requests until Navigator comes online officially.  WorldShare to me is mainly a waste of time---far, far less efficient than First Search.  I can't begin to explain WHY that's the case, only that as a practical matter in day to day operations, it IS emphatically the case.  It's not merely a case of my being familiar with First Search and less familiar with WorldShare.  I've genuinely tried to make WorldShare work for me, on several occasions, as has my co-worker.  We're both equally frustrated by its sluggishness and clunkyness.  Perhaps another case of the computer scientists designing library software without querying actual library staff before developing it?  So it would seem, at any rate.

Personal loss of passion.

In Library School I was actively involved in the Progressive Librarians Guild.  Back in 2003, I was vehemently against the Iraq War and involved online with fellow SLIS students who opposed the war.  I was even against the original invasion of Afghanistan, which was a very unpopular, minority view in those days.

My anti-War stance and friendships with fellow anti-War SLIS grad students is what naturally lead me to PLG.  As I became more active in the online discussion in those days, I was invited to join the Progressive Librarians Guild Coordinating Committee.  I did join, and served for a number of  years, mostly chiming in on votes put before the CC to say yea or nay to a proposed resolution or public statement.  I cared very much in those early years.

My anti-War activism also drew me to the woman (an UNT undergrad) whom I would eventually marry.  We were both anti-War and sought comfort in each other.  The problem was that we both opposed the War and President Bush for vastly, vastly different reasons.  Over time we learned the painful truth that we were more united by what we opposed than anything positive we could both affirm.  When she returned to the intense religiosity of her childhood, it more or less spelled the end of our relationship.  She was also verbally abusive and I was conflict averse and also an undiagnosed person on the autism spectrum.  My undiagnosed ASD definitely played a role in the disintegration of my marriage.  We were both stumbling around in the dark.

I can see now that my undiagnosed ASD had led to some social faux pas online with the PLG group.  I even got "flamed" once or twice for honest remarks I made that were not well received.  I was pretty naive about the ins and outs of Leftist politics in those days.  Probably still am.

Two failed attempts at being a professional Librarian later, and after finally landing a job at a local public library system as a mere clerk (and grateful even for that!), I found myself increasingly estranged from PLG and its work.  I still morally support them from afar, but I just find it increasingly hard to care as much about a profession that in the main does not seem to care about me.  I feel excluded from librarianship and thus alienated from it.  I missed some key votes on PLG-CC because I just couldn't stay motivated to stay on top of things.  I had more immediate concerns, like my horrific, bullying boss at the time.  I'm still grateful to have weathered that long and difficult storm.  I am pleased to be sailing on open, peaceful seas with a gentle breeze at my back again.

I made everything easy on everyone and just up and resigned my PLG-CC post without a fight.  My heart simply wasn't in it anymore.  At most I sometimes keep up with some of the members via Facebook, sometimes contribute to the Facebook page.  I'm subscribed to the general PLG list, but don't pay it much mind anymore either.

Upon coming to terms with my ASD diagnosis, I realized that one of my Library school friends & anti-War compatriots, Nancy, was also probably an ASD person as well, I realized from hindsight.  I tried to seek Nancy out, only to be told by a mutual friend that Nancy had subsequently passed away from an illness...far far too young.  The mutual friend was at least able to confirm for me that Nancy indeed was on the autism spectrum.  But I was heartbroken at not being able to commiserate with her after my own diagnosis.  I can remember Nancy being very socially awkward, even more so than me, and feeling kind of sorry for her and even trying to encourage her to speak more or re-assure her that what she had to say was important.  I miss Nancy so much sometimes.  Our mutual friend assures me that Nancy was much loved by her patrons, and that is a small comfort.  I'm glad she was able to find some success as a librarian before being forced to exit this life far too soon.

I stay in touch with a library colleague who is still in North Texas and whom I'm convinced is a fellow Aspie.  He resisted even my DX at first but over time he's come to at least allow that it's possible we're both on the autism spectrum and that is why we "get" each other more readily than other people do.  He's going through a rough patch now but to his credit he's a survivor and I have confidence in him.  After all, he still has the same job, while I had to leave North Texas in disgrace.  He made that small college town we both shared even more fun than it otherwise would've been for me.

I have an ASD colleague that I work with now, but he is a part-time staffer and does not have even a BA, much less an MLS.  He's far less intellectual or introspective than me.  He's progressed to being at least friendly now, but really, we have nothing in common.  I'm polite, but I really haven't much interest in forming an actual friendship with this co-worker.  I have a couple of Neurotypical co-workers that I actually do like to hang out with...they're comic book & sci-fi nerds, so at least we have some things tangentially in common.
We used to play a tabletop RPG together but that is now on hiatus.  I know in the beginning my ASD caused me to make some social missteps that now limit my participation in their social circles.  It's just how it is.  Some of the friends of friends are cool with me, others not (though they pretend otherwise to be polite).

Ironically, I did work up enough passion to even write about all this in this blogpost.  As you can see, there's not much that moves or motivates me within Librarianship anymore.  I just can't muster much enthusiasm for the profession that mostly let me down and failed me.  It's just a job now, nothing more.  Don't get me wrong, I still like my job, I could be vastly worse, but I don't feel forcefully passionate about it the way I did when I was an actual working librarian being paid a real and respectable salary.  I live at home with my parents because on my salary now I'd be *desperately* poor after making the sky-high apartment rents in this area every month.  I do pay my parents a modest rent every month, but beyond that this arrangement, though mildly annoying at times, does give me enough disposable income to have a fairly good life.  It's not at all uncommon for Aspie men my age to live with their parents, which helps take away some of the sting of the situation and removes for me some of the social stigma--or at least my worry about the social stigma of living at home with my folks. I even maintained an emotionally intimate relationship with a girlfriend while living at home and working for AIG in between library jobs...I'd spend weekends with her...Friday and Saturday nights through Sunday AM, then weekdays at home.  It was a very agreeable arrangement.  Lisa was such a lovely partner whom I cared for deeply.  If I had known of my ASD diagnosis then, had understood just how good a fit my AIG job was with my A.S., and appreciated more just how good a fit Lisa was with ME, it's entirely conceivable that I would've turned down the next university librarian gig down and just stayed on with Lisa and with AIG forever; It's not unreasonable to think I might've even had a kid or two with Lisa under slightly different hypothetical circumstances.  I would've made my own heart more emotionally available to Lisa if I hadn't been so focused on professional ambitions within Librarianship in those years.

I loved my job with AIG.  It was an excellent fit for me as an Aspie.  I only ever tried my hand at Librarianship because my AIG job *wasn't* good enough for my mother, who nagged me constantly about it being beneath me and not good for someone so smart as me.  Since she was a librarian, I figured becoming one myself would finally shut her the hell up and stop her constant disapproval and nagging over my career path and just leave me in peace.  It's all tragic and stupid in hindsight.  It can't be fixed, I'm unable to return to AIG thanks to a permanent hiring freeze on account of the big gov't bailout.  There was an opportunity to relocate to their Wisconsin office, but we could not come to terms on salary or relo costs, and not having ANY family or friends in that state, I just felt too uneasy about a move so big and leaving me so entirely alone.  I just felt too vulnerable and unable to seize on the opportunity--owning again in part to my recent ASD diagnosis.

These are regrets I'll carry with me as long as I live, the long shadow of regret of decisions made out of ignorance of my ASD condition.  An earlier diagnosis in my life might have made all the difference.